Yesterday I had another follow up appointment with Dr. Brickman.
Everything looks much better since the surgery. The ultrasound did show that scar tissue is forming on the left side but she said that was an expected finding. She noticed a lot less tenderness during the exam, as did I. I used to do my best not to squirm during pelvic examinations but I didn't have to try this time. It was still uncomfortable but by no means was it painful. My incisions also looked good to her.
Overall, since the surgery I have had almost no ovulation pain. That used to be the most painful time of the month for me because my left ovary and tube always swelled. I'm so thankful I do not experience that anymore.
During my menstrual cycles I still feel pain and discomfort but again, nothing like I used to. I feel like my current level of pain may be close to what most women feel. Though I still get the back pain.
Another good note about the pain is that I haven't had to take Toradol or Tramadol since the surgery. I'm now able to take Zipsor, which is pretty much just an anti-inflammatory (prescription strength). I've come a long way in that department because initially they started me on Vicodin. All that ever accomplished was making me sick. The Zipsor actually reduces the inflammation which relieves the pain.
Thank you all for your prayers and continued support! You've been a tremendous help in getting me through these obstacles. I thank God for my husband as well. He is my greatest supporter and friend.
Thursday, November 17, 2016
Wednesday, August 17, 2016
Surgery Pictures
I received the pictures from the surgery I had back in May. If you're interested in seeing what endometriosis can do then take a look.
To start, you'll need to see what a normal ovary, fallopian tube, and uterus look like. This first picture shows the norm and was obtained from www.dallasivf.com.
As you can see, most of the tissue is a healthy pink. It's not zoomed in but you can see the veining as well. The ovaries are white to light gray in color.
Below you'll see the pictures from my surgery. I'll do my best to explain what you are looking at in each picture.
1. Right ovary & fallopian tube.
The tube is going right down the center and has some fat (yellow) running along it.On the bottom right of the picture you can see a dark circle. That is my right ovary.
For the most part, the right side is alright. Endometriosis on this side is fairly microscopic, or at the very least you'd have to zoom in to see any.
2. Left Side
In this picture all you can see is a bunch of tissue attached to everything. This is an excellent picture of the adhesions and scar tissue that form as a result of endometriosis. Endometriosis causes ovarian cysts and fallopian tube blockages which can result in engorgement and eventual rupture. When the engorgement happens, the organs get so large that they touch everything from the uterus to the bowels. After some time, adhesions form connecting them together. When the body finally addresses the engorgement, either on its own or via medication, the swelling goes down. As this happens, the adhesions stretch, tear, and try to heal. This inevitably causes more adhesions and scar tissue to form. Now, sometimes the ovarian cysts will rupture. This causes even more scar tissue and adhesions. On top of that, the body now has to absorb the contents of the cyst throughout the entire abdominal-pelvic cavity.
3. Left Side (After laser removal of adhesions.)
She wasn't done removing all the adhesions when this picture was taken. You can now see the ovary on the right. It looks white with blue-purple like tones. The remainder of the fallopian tube is also there.
She did successfully remove just about everything you can see in that picture. She removed the adhesions, the left ovary, and the remainder of the left tube. Unfortunately, she did not get a picture of what it looked like after total removal.
4. Bowels connected to the back side of the uterus.
In this picture you can see long strands of adhesions connecting the uterus to the cavity wall as well as connecting the bowels to the uterus.
The yellow is fat. I honestly had no idea how much fat we had surrounding our organs but it's normal.
She was able to remove all of these adhesions and free up the uterus and bowels.
The little darker pink bump in the picture is a uterine fibroid. It's a benign non-cancerous growth on the outside of my uterus. They've been watching this one for a while via transvaginal ultrasound and it has not grown much in the past couple of years. So, she left it alone. She felt that removing it would cause extra scar tissue that I definitely don't need. Basically, it isn't doing any harm so she left it alone. The picture is just for documentation and for my next doctors records as I'll be moving within the next year.
To start, you'll need to see what a normal ovary, fallopian tube, and uterus look like. This first picture shows the norm and was obtained from www.dallasivf.com.
________________________________________
Below you'll see the pictures from my surgery. I'll do my best to explain what you are looking at in each picture.
1. Right ovary & fallopian tube.
For the most part, the right side is alright. Endometriosis on this side is fairly microscopic, or at the very least you'd have to zoom in to see any.
2. Left Side
She did successfully remove just about everything you can see in that picture. She removed the adhesions, the left ovary, and the remainder of the left tube. Unfortunately, she did not get a picture of what it looked like after total removal.
4. Bowels connected to the back side of the uterus.
The yellow is fat. I honestly had no idea how much fat we had surrounding our organs but it's normal.
She was able to remove all of these adhesions and free up the uterus and bowels.
5. Uterine Fibroid
________________________________________
She took several other pictures but those are the ones she made sure to explain to me as they showed the most concerning my condition.
Thank you all for praying for me during the surgery, prior to the surgery, and continuing to pray for me. This has been a rough rode for both me and my husband.
I'd love to say I'll never have another surgery but Dr. Brickman has already told me I'll need another in a couple of years. She still recommends a total hysterectomy but isn't pressing the issue because I am so young. I'm fortunate she was able to clean me out and not take away what fertility I still have left.
I continue to put this situation/condition in God's hands and rely on Him for the strength get through it. He has a plan even though it isn't clear to me yet. Whatever His plan is will surely be better than anything I could imagine.
Side Note: My final semester in nursing school started this week. I've gotten my schedule and it is going to be a busy semester. Please pray for focus, energy, increased memory, and peace.
Sunday, June 19, 2016
Admitted on 6/17/2016
After my post on the 17th, the doctor called back and asked me to come in. I spent several hours, from 10 am - 5 pm, going from CT, Lab, and US getting tests done to find out why I was in pain and had a fever. Without going into every detail, the results were as follows:
CT - normal
Labs - normal
US - abnormal showing a complex cyst on my remaining ovary.
Now, cysts aren't a big thing as I almost always have them. However, it was a little alarming to them given my recent surgery and the symptoms I was having.
Dr. Asbury was the one to see me and decided that she wanted to admit me overnight to be monitored and get IV antibiotics and pain medication. She said my severe low back pain was referred pain from my uterus and the fever was from the start of an infection in my remaining ovary.
I really wouldn't have thought the low back/hip pain was referred from my uterus so that was news to me. However, being that they did have to remove the bowels, left ovary, and adhesions from the uterus during my surgery it makes sense. That coupled with the fact that I got on the treadmill to walk a 5K on Thursday was probably too much too fast for my body. I was feeling fine so I didn't think anything of it.
I was admitted just after 5 pm to the hospital that night. It took four attempts and three nurses to start an IV. It was very painful but it's not their fault. I've been known to be a difficult stick for IV's.
Finally received pain medication at 7 pm that night and began feeling much better. They had me stay until I was fever free for 24 hours. I actually discharged last night at around 7:30 pm. Side Note: my friend from nursing school was the nurse extender who wheeled me out of the hospital, Nestor. I just thought that was neat. I'm glad we got to catch up since we are on summer break right now.
Alright, so now I'm home and had a wonderful nights rest last night. I haven't taken any pain medication since I was at the hospital either. I was prescribed antibiotics for the next two weeks to make sure the infection is gone. My abdomen is pretty tender. In fact, going to Walmart this morning to get my antibiotics felt like a little too much. I'll be resting for the remainder of today and probably for the next couple of weeks.
Thank you all for your prayers. I'm so blessed to have you all in my life. A special thanks goes to my friend, Robin, who sent me this precious Get Well text featuring my precious baby.
CT - normal
Labs - normal
US - abnormal showing a complex cyst on my remaining ovary.
Now, cysts aren't a big thing as I almost always have them. However, it was a little alarming to them given my recent surgery and the symptoms I was having.
I really wouldn't have thought the low back/hip pain was referred from my uterus so that was news to me. However, being that they did have to remove the bowels, left ovary, and adhesions from the uterus during my surgery it makes sense. That coupled with the fact that I got on the treadmill to walk a 5K on Thursday was probably too much too fast for my body. I was feeling fine so I didn't think anything of it.
I was admitted just after 5 pm to the hospital that night. It took four attempts and three nurses to start an IV. It was very painful but it's not their fault. I've been known to be a difficult stick for IV's.
Finally received pain medication at 7 pm that night and began feeling much better. They had me stay until I was fever free for 24 hours. I actually discharged last night at around 7:30 pm. Side Note: my friend from nursing school was the nurse extender who wheeled me out of the hospital, Nestor. I just thought that was neat. I'm glad we got to catch up since we are on summer break right now.
Alright, so now I'm home and had a wonderful nights rest last night. I haven't taken any pain medication since I was at the hospital either. I was prescribed antibiotics for the next two weeks to make sure the infection is gone. My abdomen is pretty tender. In fact, going to Walmart this morning to get my antibiotics felt like a little too much. I'll be resting for the remainder of today and probably for the next couple of weeks.
Thank you all for your prayers. I'm so blessed to have you all in my life. A special thanks goes to my friend, Robin, who sent me this precious Get Well text featuring my precious baby.
Friday, June 17, 2016
Surgery Update & What's Up Today
My surgery on May 31st went well. Not only was it the quickest procedure I've had to date but the results were favorable.
Dr. Brickman was able to remove just the left ovary and remainder of that tube. At the post-op appointment she showed me pictures. The left ovary and tube were difficult to get to at first due to the extensive adhesions that had build up since my last surgery in December 2013. Once she was able to get through the adhesions she found that my bowels were stuck to my uterus as well. She removed all the adhesions, the left ovary and tube, and cleaned up what endometriosis she could find. She inspected the right side and said that it looks quite a bit better than my left side, though not quite as good as a normal ovary and tube. Another thing, she was surprised I was able to have a BM at all given the condition my bowels were in.
Since the surgery, I've been on pain medication to help relax and recover. There's just one problem. The pain medication stops my digestive tract every time I take it. Getting backed up is not good at all because that causes added pain.
On that note, yesterday I may have strained too much because my lower back is absolutely killing me. I got extremely nauseous and ran a low temp (99.5) when I woke up today at 6:30 am. Took Zofran to get rid of the nausea and grabbed a bowl before laying down. The shakes were uncontrollable too.
Upon waking at 9:23 am my temperature had risen to 100.6. The pain wasn't quite as bad anymore but I did gain a headache. The Zofran got rid of the nausea, thankfully. Just called my doctors office to update them and am waiting to hear back on what I should do, including whether I should head to the ER.
Please keep me in your prayers. This recovery process has had some major ups and downs, unlike usual.
P.S. I'll post pictures of the surgery when I get them at the 6 week post-op visit.
Thank you,
Leah
Dr. Brickman was able to remove just the left ovary and remainder of that tube. At the post-op appointment she showed me pictures. The left ovary and tube were difficult to get to at first due to the extensive adhesions that had build up since my last surgery in December 2013. Once she was able to get through the adhesions she found that my bowels were stuck to my uterus as well. She removed all the adhesions, the left ovary and tube, and cleaned up what endometriosis she could find. She inspected the right side and said that it looks quite a bit better than my left side, though not quite as good as a normal ovary and tube. Another thing, she was surprised I was able to have a BM at all given the condition my bowels were in.
Since the surgery, I've been on pain medication to help relax and recover. There's just one problem. The pain medication stops my digestive tract every time I take it. Getting backed up is not good at all because that causes added pain.
On that note, yesterday I may have strained too much because my lower back is absolutely killing me. I got extremely nauseous and ran a low temp (99.5) when I woke up today at 6:30 am. Took Zofran to get rid of the nausea and grabbed a bowl before laying down. The shakes were uncontrollable too.
Upon waking at 9:23 am my temperature had risen to 100.6. The pain wasn't quite as bad anymore but I did gain a headache. The Zofran got rid of the nausea, thankfully. Just called my doctors office to update them and am waiting to hear back on what I should do, including whether I should head to the ER.
Please keep me in your prayers. This recovery process has had some major ups and downs, unlike usual.
P.S. I'll post pictures of the surgery when I get them at the 6 week post-op visit.
Thank you,
Leah
Saturday, March 12, 2016
This Is My Burden
So, I'm seated at my computer getting ready to study for my upcoming nursing exam when I obviously get distracted by Facebook. My eldest brother shared an article about parenting truths which I decided to read: Everything You Need To Know About Parenting In 12 Jim Gaffigan Quotes.
I understand that I am not a parent so I can't fully appreciate everything there is know about parenting. However, I did grow up in a family with seven children, used to work in a daycare center caring for twelve one-year old children by myself for 8 hours a day, and started babysitting when I was like twelve years old. I may not be able to understand the lack of sleep that comes with having children, but I do understand the diaper changing, food throwing, destruction, temper tantrums, and the majority of the things you'd encounter if you're ever in the presence of a child by yourself. I also very much so understand the wonderful joys of having children. They are the driving force of my desire towards having children with my wonderful husband.
With that said, I'm reading the article and laughing hysterically because his quotes are so true and he's a comedian so he's excellent at stating them in some of the most uniquely hilarious ways. I made sure to watch each video clip that was added as well. I'm not much for comedy acts but he succeeded in waking the entire house with my laughter. I don't want to ruin it for any of you so I'll only quote one thing from him and that will come later. I simply just invite you to go to the article and read for yourself. It is linked above at the end of the first paragraph.
Getting to the point of today's post on our IVF blog... His last quote was incredibly precious and caused an emotional breakdown of great magnitude.
"People treat having a kid as somehow retiring from success. Quitting. Have you seen a baby? They're pretty cute. Loving them is pretty easy. Smiling babies should actually be categorized by the pharmaceutical industry as a powerful antidepressant. Being happy is really the definition of success, isn't it?" Jim Gaffigan
Immediately upon reading this quote a flood of emotions overpowered me. I don't even know if I'm fully aware of why it hit me so hard. Maybe it's the last part of that quote where he says, "being happy is really the definition of success." Top that off with knowing the likelihood of us ever having children is growing slimmer by the minute, especially considering the possibility of a total hysterectomy in May, and it leaves me with a feeling of utter hopelessness.
I cannot describe in words the way that I feel. I cannot hope to have you understand. All I can do is pray that those who have children will cherish them every moment of every day. May every child be blessed beyond comprehension by the Lord God above. May all the parents see just how blessed they are to have that child and those children. May parents and children alike know that they are loved by each other. May they also know, even though I don't know them I will pray for them every single day. This is my daily burden.
Lastly, I want to thank God for showing me just how much He loves me... just how much he loves ALL of us! The desire I have that is completely overwhelming is but a taste of His desire for us. Knowing that of everything I could offer my child, He has already offered to each and every one of us. We are His one and only desire. We are His heart. We are His children.
This pain I feel inside is also a tiny glimpse of the pain that He feels when we run away from Him.
I know how much He loves us. Though Satan can attack me from every direction, Satan will never hide the truth of God's love from me. In my deepest darkest moments, I will cling to God that much more because I know He will get me through it. One day, I'll see my Father in Heaven and will finally be able to embrace Him and be embraced by Him.
Lord, it has been an extremely painful road but you've helped me through it and shown me all these wonderful things. What I know now is what I ask to be shown to everyone else on Earth. Tear the veil down covering their eyes and reveal to them what you've revealed to me. Amen.
I understand that I am not a parent so I can't fully appreciate everything there is know about parenting. However, I did grow up in a family with seven children, used to work in a daycare center caring for twelve one-year old children by myself for 8 hours a day, and started babysitting when I was like twelve years old. I may not be able to understand the lack of sleep that comes with having children, but I do understand the diaper changing, food throwing, destruction, temper tantrums, and the majority of the things you'd encounter if you're ever in the presence of a child by yourself. I also very much so understand the wonderful joys of having children. They are the driving force of my desire towards having children with my wonderful husband.
With that said, I'm reading the article and laughing hysterically because his quotes are so true and he's a comedian so he's excellent at stating them in some of the most uniquely hilarious ways. I made sure to watch each video clip that was added as well. I'm not much for comedy acts but he succeeded in waking the entire house with my laughter. I don't want to ruin it for any of you so I'll only quote one thing from him and that will come later. I simply just invite you to go to the article and read for yourself. It is linked above at the end of the first paragraph.
Getting to the point of today's post on our IVF blog... His last quote was incredibly precious and caused an emotional breakdown of great magnitude.
"People treat having a kid as somehow retiring from success. Quitting. Have you seen a baby? They're pretty cute. Loving them is pretty easy. Smiling babies should actually be categorized by the pharmaceutical industry as a powerful antidepressant. Being happy is really the definition of success, isn't it?" Jim Gaffigan
Immediately upon reading this quote a flood of emotions overpowered me. I don't even know if I'm fully aware of why it hit me so hard. Maybe it's the last part of that quote where he says, "being happy is really the definition of success." Top that off with knowing the likelihood of us ever having children is growing slimmer by the minute, especially considering the possibility of a total hysterectomy in May, and it leaves me with a feeling of utter hopelessness.
I cannot describe in words the way that I feel. I cannot hope to have you understand. All I can do is pray that those who have children will cherish them every moment of every day. May every child be blessed beyond comprehension by the Lord God above. May all the parents see just how blessed they are to have that child and those children. May parents and children alike know that they are loved by each other. May they also know, even though I don't know them I will pray for them every single day. This is my daily burden.
Lastly, I want to thank God for showing me just how much He loves me... just how much he loves ALL of us! The desire I have that is completely overwhelming is but a taste of His desire for us. Knowing that of everything I could offer my child, He has already offered to each and every one of us. We are His one and only desire. We are His heart. We are His children.
This pain I feel inside is also a tiny glimpse of the pain that He feels when we run away from Him.
I know how much He loves us. Though Satan can attack me from every direction, Satan will never hide the truth of God's love from me. In my deepest darkest moments, I will cling to God that much more because I know He will get me through it. One day, I'll see my Father in Heaven and will finally be able to embrace Him and be embraced by Him.
Lord, it has been an extremely painful road but you've helped me through it and shown me all these wonderful things. What I know now is what I ask to be shown to everyone else on Earth. Tear the veil down covering their eyes and reveal to them what you've revealed to me. Amen.
Friday, January 8, 2016
Health Update & Today's Word From God
About a month ago, December 2015, I experienced tremendous pain and went to the doctor knowing it had to be the endometriosis acting up. Being that I was a walk-in, I had to wait 2 hours before they could work me in. Why didn't I go to the ER? Because every time I do that they act like I'm a drug seeker until they get the test results and see that I truly do have a reason to be in pain.
Anyway, they did a transvaginal ultrasound as usual and were quite disturbed by the results. At that time, the doctor felt strongly about doing a total hysterectomy as soon as possible. Since that requires a 2 month recovery time, I told them I didn't want to do that until the summer since I'm in nursing school. While they weren't too happy about that they did agree to help me through until then with pain management and close monitoring. They scheduled me for a follow-up appointment today to make sure I spoke with my husband before fully deciding on anything.
Just got back from the surgical consult and got a bit of good news. The doctor has decided to start with a laparoscopic surgery (small incisions) and just remove the left ovary and the remainder of that tube since that is where the majority of the problems are located. She'll clean out the endometriosis and scar tissue as well. If all goes well, that's all I'll get done. I'm hopeful that she'll be able to do that.
However, when she gets in there she may change her mind. If it's too bad, she'll have to switch to an open total hysterectomy (huge scar and removal of all the reproductive organs meaning abrupt menopause).
Considering the total hysterectomy is what she had said I needed last month, I'm so thankful that she's decided to try for the least invasive approach first. This leaves hope that we may still have a chance at having children in the future. Though I've come to terms with the very large possibility of never having children, it is still nice to have hope.
I'm also hopeful that with only the removal of the left ovary and tube I'll have a reprieve from the complications and pain. She did say that if she is able to do the laparoscopic surgery it may not get rid of all of the complications since only a total hysterectomy could get rid of the endometriosis. However, she's hopeful it will last me through normal menopause as the left side is the cause of 97% of the complications and pain.
Tentatively, the surgery is scheduled for May 31st with pre-op on May 9th.
Please keep me in your prayers from now until the surgery in May. Thank you all so much for your prayers and support. It's been a rough 15 years battling with the endometriosis and infertility. I couldn't have come this far without you all and without God.
Anyway, they did a transvaginal ultrasound as usual and were quite disturbed by the results. At that time, the doctor felt strongly about doing a total hysterectomy as soon as possible. Since that requires a 2 month recovery time, I told them I didn't want to do that until the summer since I'm in nursing school. While they weren't too happy about that they did agree to help me through until then with pain management and close monitoring. They scheduled me for a follow-up appointment today to make sure I spoke with my husband before fully deciding on anything.
Just got back from the surgical consult and got a bit of good news. The doctor has decided to start with a laparoscopic surgery (small incisions) and just remove the left ovary and the remainder of that tube since that is where the majority of the problems are located. She'll clean out the endometriosis and scar tissue as well. If all goes well, that's all I'll get done. I'm hopeful that she'll be able to do that.
However, when she gets in there she may change her mind. If it's too bad, she'll have to switch to an open total hysterectomy (huge scar and removal of all the reproductive organs meaning abrupt menopause).
Considering the total hysterectomy is what she had said I needed last month, I'm so thankful that she's decided to try for the least invasive approach first. This leaves hope that we may still have a chance at having children in the future. Though I've come to terms with the very large possibility of never having children, it is still nice to have hope.
I'm also hopeful that with only the removal of the left ovary and tube I'll have a reprieve from the complications and pain. She did say that if she is able to do the laparoscopic surgery it may not get rid of all of the complications since only a total hysterectomy could get rid of the endometriosis. However, she's hopeful it will last me through normal menopause as the left side is the cause of 97% of the complications and pain.
Tentatively, the surgery is scheduled for May 31st with pre-op on May 9th.
Please keep me in your prayers from now until the surgery in May. Thank you all so much for your prayers and support. It's been a rough 15 years battling with the endometriosis and infertility. I couldn't have come this far without you all and without God.
___________________________________________________________
With all that said, I subscribe to the Daily Double Portion daily devotional email from Sarah's Laughter: Christian Support for Infertility & Child Loss. While I don't read it every day, I do read it from time to time. Today's subject line caught my attention so I decided to read it.
I won't post the entire devotional here but I did want to post about how it affected me.
Long story short, three men chose to face death instead of bowing before a false God. They knew they were to be put to death for this but they did it anyway because of their faith in God. These are the words they said:
"O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."
(Daniel 3:16-18)
I choose to stand firm on the message of their words.
“...the God we serve is able to... but even if he does not,...”
I will continue to bring my requests to God as He tells us to in Philippians 4:6. I know that He is able to give us the child we've so longed for. But even if he doesn't give us that child, I will continue to love and serve Him in all that I do.
I won't post the entire devotional here but I did want to post about how it affected me.
Long story short, three men chose to face death instead of bowing before a false God. They knew they were to be put to death for this but they did it anyway because of their faith in God. These are the words they said:
"O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."
(Daniel 3:16-18)
I choose to stand firm on the message of their words.
“...the God we serve is able to... but even if he does not,...”
I will continue to bring my requests to God as He tells us to in Philippians 4:6. I know that He is able to give us the child we've so longed for. But even if he doesn't give us that child, I will continue to love and serve Him in all that I do.
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