So, I'm seated at my computer getting ready to study for my upcoming nursing exam when I obviously get distracted by Facebook. My eldest brother shared an article about parenting truths which I decided to read: Everything You Need To Know About Parenting In 12 Jim Gaffigan Quotes.
I understand that I am not a parent so I can't fully appreciate everything there is know about parenting. However, I did grow up in a family with seven children, used to work in a daycare center caring for twelve one-year old children by myself for 8 hours a day, and started babysitting when I was like twelve years old. I may not be able to understand the lack of sleep that comes with having children, but I do understand the diaper changing, food throwing, destruction, temper tantrums, and the majority of the things you'd encounter if you're ever in the presence of a child by yourself. I also very much so understand the wonderful joys of having children. They are the driving force of my desire towards having children with my wonderful husband.
With that said, I'm reading the article and laughing hysterically because his quotes are so true and he's a comedian so he's excellent at stating them in some of the most uniquely hilarious ways. I made sure to watch each video clip that was added as well. I'm not much for comedy acts but he succeeded in waking the entire house with my laughter. I don't want to ruin it for any of you so I'll only quote one thing from him and that will come later. I simply just invite you to go to the article and read for yourself. It is linked above at the end of the first paragraph.
Getting to the point of today's post on our IVF blog... His last quote was incredibly precious and caused an emotional breakdown of great magnitude.
"People treat having a kid as somehow retiring from success. Quitting. Have you seen a baby? They're pretty cute. Loving them is pretty easy. Smiling babies should actually be categorized by the pharmaceutical industry as a powerful antidepressant. Being happy is really the definition of success, isn't it?" Jim Gaffigan
Immediately upon reading this quote a flood of emotions overpowered me. I don't even know if I'm fully aware of why it hit me so hard. Maybe it's the last part of that quote where he says, "being happy is really the definition of success." Top that off with knowing the likelihood of us ever having children is growing slimmer by the minute, especially considering the possibility of a total hysterectomy in May, and it leaves me with a feeling of utter hopelessness.
I cannot describe in words the way that I feel. I cannot hope to have you understand. All I can do is pray that those who have children will cherish them every moment of every day. May every child be blessed beyond comprehension by the Lord God above. May all the parents see just how blessed they are to have that child and those children. May parents and children alike know that they are loved by each other. May they also know, even though I don't know them I will pray for them every single day. This is my daily burden.
Lastly, I want to thank God for showing me just how much He loves me... just how much he loves ALL of us! The desire I have that is completely overwhelming is but a taste of His desire for us. Knowing that of everything I could offer my child, He has already offered to each and every one of us. We are His one and only desire. We are His heart. We are His children.
This pain I feel inside is also a tiny glimpse of the pain that He feels when we run away from Him.
I know how much He loves us. Though Satan can attack me from every direction, Satan will never hide the truth of God's love from me. In my deepest darkest moments, I will cling to God that much more because I know He will get me through it. One day, I'll see my Father in Heaven and will finally be able to embrace Him and be embraced by Him.
Lord, it has been an extremely painful road but you've helped me through it and shown me all these wonderful things. What I know now is what I ask to be shown to everyone else on Earth. Tear the veil down covering their eyes and reveal to them what you've revealed to me. Amen.
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